


Triangles, Birthdays, and Loneliness

by ChetRoi



Category: A3! (Video Game)
Genre: Birthday, Gen, Not Beta Read, Reminiscing, kind of a character study but not really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-06
Updated: 2020-06-06
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:01:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24571225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChetRoi/pseuds/ChetRoi
Summary: Loneliness was what Misumi usually felt in his childhood, yet when he grew up, things changed. He was no longer lonely. OR Misumi reminiscing on his childhood and how much he has improved.
Relationships: Ikaruga Misumi/Miyoshi Kazunari
Comments: 10
Kudos: 49





	Triangles, Birthdays, and Loneliness

**Author's Note:**

> Happy birthday to my baby... I love you Misumi, idk how u became my second most fave but u did. this is for you, You deserve the world

Loneliness. Bone chilling, mind numbing loneliness. Misumi’s childhood was plagued by this, haunting him, taunting him at every corner, every orifice of his mind. He tried to run from it, yet it never really disappeared. No matter how many dangerous stunts he did, when the adrenaline died down, the loneliness settled back in. So, he quickly replaced it with another feeling, whether it was wonder from his grandpa’s script or the emotions of the character that he was pretending to be, anything would do. However, nothing lasts forever, so the feeling always slithers back, unwelcome and cold. Over and over, Misumi tried to avoid it and like some sort of sick cycle, it always caught up to him. 

Even when Misumi was with his grandpa, the loneliness never really left him. Sure, it was a lot better, but the nagging thought of  _ “No one wants you, not the neighborhood kids, not the people walking around that see you on the roof… not even your parents.”  _ still gnawed at him hungrily, like a starved rat that finally found some food. Still, he always plastered the same smile on his face, he didn’t want to make Gramps sad. He hoped that one day, this smile could finally become real. 

Misumi remembered the first day that the smile was real. That day wasn’t interesting, things went on as it normally did. However, after dinner, Hakkaku rubbed his hands nervously. “So Misumi. I have a gift for you.” Misumi looked up from the sink, where he was currently washing the dishes. 

“Huh? What is it Gramps?” Hakkaku stood up and walked to his messy desk, rummaging through it. He finally managed to pull out a triangular protractor.

“Uh, here it is. I’ve used it a lot to help keep my hands busy while I think, and I think it might help you. You can twirl it around or something, and maybe that’ll help you feel less sad. It’s not much, but it’s something.” Misumi blinked away the wetness that he could feel in his eyes. No one really had given him a gift before, muchless a gift that they thought would help him. Hakkaku walked to Misumi, extending his hand. “Here you go.” 

At first, Misumi didn’t really understand what he was feeling, it was so foreign, like something was tickling him. It made him feel so soft and warm and… Misumi blinked. Oh. He was happy. He hasn’t felt truly happy since his dad disowned him. “Uh… Misumi… I’m sorry if you don’t like it. It’s just really important to me and I want to pass it on to you. Although, if you don’t want it, I can-” Hakkaku got cut off by Misumi rushing towards him with a hug. 

“No! I love it Gramps! Thank you!” Misumi gently grabbed the triangle out of his grandpa’s hand. “I’ll definitely use it and when I do, I’ll think of you!” 

Hakkaku chuckled. “That’s nice. You can do whatever it is you want, as long as you’re happy, then I’m glad.” Misumi looked down at the triangle in his hands. Maybe… the source to real smiles were triangles. He clutched it tightly against his chest. Maybe… maybe his life doesn’t have to be filled with only loneliness. Maybe, he can get friends. Maybe, he’ll get more people to care for him. Misumi smiled softly to himself. That would be a dream come true. Misumi wanted this feeling to last forever.

The feeling definitely didn’t last forever as the day that Hakkaku died, Misumi remembered the strongest tidal wave of loneliness crashing over him after he was already wrecked by the waves of sadness. He went back to their room, or he supposes that it was his room now, and he just crumpled down to the floor. The only person that cared about him had just left him. He was alone again. Misumi’s body was wracked with sobs as he fumbled around for the last remaining thing from his grandpa, as all the scripts were taken away by some strange men. The triangle gleamed in the dark, almost as if it was reminding Misumi to feel better. He could hear his grandpa’s soothing voice and feel his gentle hands. It slightly comforted him as he continued to stare at the triangle. Maybe… maybe triangles were the secret to happiness. Maybe, if he collected all of the triangles in the world, it would finally bring him permanent happiness. Misumi was sick of feeling sad and lonely, he just wanted people to love and people who love him back. Misumi didn’t think it’ll work, but he didn’t care. He’ll try anything at this point to finally be happy. 

Day after day, Misumi just kept on searching for triangles. No matter where they were, what size, what material, or even who it belonged to, he always grabbed it and took it back. Did it make him feel better? Not really, but he always tried to convince himself that it all would eventually make him happy. After all, he’s tried too hard and has come too far to stop now. He looked at the triangles that he managed to cram in his room and sighed. When will it be enough? Is nothing ever enough? All he wanted was to be happy, but he supposed that was never happening. Life just wasn’t fair and Misumi supposed that he just had to deal with it. He closed his eyes, trying to drift off to sleep, 

And reopened them again to find a familiar face smiling at him. “Hey Misumi-san! Happy birthday! As your roomie, I wanted to be the first one to wish you it!” Misumi blinked and found an actual smiling forming on his face. 

“Thanks Kumon~ You’re the best roomie ever!” Kumon grinned as he revealed what he was hiding behind his hand. 

“Since it’s your birthday, I figured we could have another paper airplane contest! C’mon and get up sleepyhead! There’s a whole triangle-filled day planned for you!” Kumon rushed out of the room, paper airplane still in hand, as Misumi stared at the door shut with a loud thud. He looked at the protractor that he always kept with him before he pocketed it and continued on with his day. The whole day was indeed triangle-filled as everyone gave him or tried to give him something triangle related. Misumi felt happy when he got these triangles, but he was sure that it wasn’t because they were triangles. It was nice to feel happy on a regular basis. He was sure that his younger self wouldn’t believe that he would make it there, yet here he was. He was proud of himself for making it this far. 

“Oi Ikaruga, come to the courtyard. Everyone’s gonna sing you happy birthday.” Misumi smiled at Sakyo, who he vaguely remembered seeing as a really really young kid. 

“Ok!” The two went to the courtyard together, where the tables were filled with onigiri and other triangular foods. Misumi was comforted by the sight, as it reminded him of his bedroom and triangles were always there for him when he was at his lowest. Everyone was there, even Itaru and Chikage, who requested to leave work early in order to make it. 

“Ayyy! Happy birthday Sumi! Hope you get everything that you wish for this year, because you deserve the world.” Kazunari went up and gave Misumi a kiss on the cheek, earning a disgusted noise from Azami. 

“Thanks Kazu! I have a feeling that I will!” Misumi put on the birthday glasses that Kazunari got and looked at the cake. It was a triangle-shaped (of course) cake that was made by Muku. It was really cute, as Misumi cooed at all the tiny triangle gods that Muku included on it. 

“Okay guys, on the count of 3. 1. 2. 3.” Kazunari was the one who started it as everyone’s voice blended together to form what was probably Misumi’s favorite sound. All of his friends, all of his family, were here together for him. He still didn’t know what he did to deserve this, but he was glad. His ultimate dream came true. It took a lot of years and a lot of loneliness, but Misumi could confidently say that at this moment in time, he was happy. He had people who cared for him and he cared for them too. He looked at the sky and hoped that his grandpa was here to see this as well. Loud cheers broke him out of his thought, taking that as the sign to blow out his candles. He didn’t need to make a wish anymore, just this was already enough. He looked around at all the smiling faces and he closed his eyes, his beam shining. 

“Thank you everyone.” 

That night, Misumi managed to convince Kumon to have a sleepover with his cousin, as he laid next to Kazunari, cuddling him. “Hey Sumi, did you enjoy yourself today?” Kazunari asked, his voice laced with sleepiness. Misumi buried his face in Kazunari’s hair.

“Of course I did! I was surrounded by my precious friends. That’s all I can ask for.” Kazunari hummed happily, closing his eyes. 

“That’s good. I’m glad you enjoyed yourself.” Things were silent for a while before Kazunari softly said “I’m sorry Madoka didn’t come.” Normally, Misumi would’ve gotten hurt by this, but this time was different. 

“It’s fine. It can’t be helped, he was raised to see me as some sort of freak that he has to avoid. It’s hard to scrub that idea out of someone’s head. I don’t blame him. There’s always next year.” Misumi paused.  _ “Huh. I’m talking about next year instead of just taking things one day at a time. That’s new.”  _ He mused. He knew that it was a good sign that he was actually thinking of the future, but it still felt unnatural to have things to look forward to everyday. 

“Yeah. I hope he comes next year.” Kazunari turned around and gave Misumi a chaste kiss on his lips. “Night Sumi, I’m going to sleep now. I hope you enjoy the letter I wrote you… It’s just a small thank you for everything that you’ve done for me.” He then buried his face in Misumi’s chest. After literally a minute, Misumi heard soft snoring and he smiled gently. He brought his hand up and stroked Kazunari’s hair, basking in the comforting noise. 

Misumi never imagined that he could possibly have something like this. He thought that he was a freak, someone that would never be loved. After all, if your own parents didn’t love you, who would? He tried to escape all of his loneliness by doing things that brought temporary relief, yet it always caught up to him. No matter what he did to try to stave it off, whether it was triangles or dangerous stunts, he was constantly reminded of it. He almost just accepted it as a part of life that he couldn’t change, but Mankai changed him. Mankai taught him that people did and can care for him. It taught him that he was worth it, that he wasn’t some freak. Mankai helped him somewhat reconcile with his brother. Mankai got rid of the gaping hole in his heart. Mankai was there for him when he thought everyone else in the world was against him. That was already the best and only gift that he needed. 

Misumi understood that he couldn’t always be happy, that was just implausible, but now he actually had something to look forward to every morning. Life was no longer dull or scary, it was fun and colorful, full of possibilities. Misumi looked at the protractor on the nightstand and then looked at the man in his arms. 

“Hey Gramps. I don’t know if you’re up there or if you’re watching me, but I made it. I have friends now. I even have a boyfriend who I love very much now. Are you proud of me?” Misumi looked back at the protractor, which seemed to almost glow in the dark. “I know you’re proud of me, because I’m proud of myself. I’m proud that I made it here. I’m proud that I’m no longer lonely. I’m proud to have people I can rely on. I’m proud to help people when they need it. I’m happy now Gramps. I never thought I could say that, but I’m genuinely happy.” The watch continued on shining. “Thank you for being there for me, I’ll always remember you, but I think I can move on now. I have a new family. Please support me like you always have.” Misumi closed his eyes. Happy birthday to him. He deserved it. 

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on twitter @gachakitakorejk where I post my fics at dawn because I'm probably nocturnal at this point and I write between the hours of 12 am to 6 am


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